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Sunday, December 7th, 2003
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i've gotta new computer, but can't understand how to hook up this road runner thing...
tons of things happened last night...
.. and i was asleep, what kinda bullshit is this?
i'm gonna see my boyfriend soon. i miss him. he misses me. :(
anyways, i'm going back to bed before i have to go to work.
xo
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:1 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
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The past two days have been outstanding. i love jen, sarah, and murphy. :) they make me happy. even though at the end of the night we don't remember much of anything that has happened and all i can recall is me telling jen how nice her car is, and her telling us that she wants to go to bed.. it's still a lot of fun. :)
i have a virus on my computer, so i can't really be on it all the time, like when i wanna have a conversation online with someone, i can't cause i get kicked offline, but it's still cool. My mommys gonna go get it fixed and get the virus outta my computer. and i'm excited.
halloween was fun. i went out with sarah, murphy, and jen.. and we didn't go trick or treating. i forget what we did, but i had fun i remember. we took pictures, who has a scanner?! :D i'll love you foreeeevveerrrrr.. yumm.
i got called into work early today, so i'm gonna go into work as soon as i get ready. so i guess that's all
just to reassure y'all that i'm not dead i'm still here, i just have a virus. :)
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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Monday, October 13th, 2003
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| Time: | 9:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  hungry. | | Music: | [Finch].x.[I Want]. |
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i've got the munchies..
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:2 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Thursday, October 9th, 2003
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| Subject: | dramatic. |
| Time: | 7:45 pm. |
| Mood: |  confused. | | Music: | [Alkaline Trio].x.[Goodbye Forever]. |
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i guess there isn't really much to say about anything.. so i'll recap as best as i can, and with what i know about things.
I know that my boyfriend comes home very soon and that i'm not "allowed to see him" because of current situations that we have managed to get ourselves into. I also know that i've spent countless nights thinking of him, and thinking to myself "is it really worth all the trouble?" It sucks when you love someone and you're not supposed to. You can't help who you love, you're NOT supposed to. I guess i'll just see where everything leads to.
I know that people have been saying some bad things about me, and i have gotten over it. I just don't understand how i can have a boyfriend for 7 months and be a slut. it's incredible.. I pray to god i wont end up pregnant till i'm 25. at the earliest.. bad things happen to good people. I also know that i'm not a druggie. Yes i do drugs, and i have fun with the stupid shit i do. I haven't gotten myself into any situations that i couldn't get myself out of. I have gotten fucked up to the point where it was almost killing me. But everyone experiments in life, and you all will too, someday.
I know that school is a pain in the ass. I can't ever sleep in. I wanted to quit my job but i can't, cause my mom thinks i'm doing it so i can stay at jessica's on weekends to be with morgan. It's dramatic. I hate waking up at 6:42 monday-friday, and on saturdays waking up the LATEST 9:30, because i have to go to work at 10:45. sundays, i work mornings, like this sunday i have to work at 6 am. which means i have to be at work at 5:45, which also means i have to be up at 5. It becomes too hard to manage, then i want to go to a party on friday nights and get "fucked up" and i can't because i have to work the next day. I shall quit soon though.
i think that's all i know for now. i felt it was time to update. i will update after i hang out with morgan when he comes home.
i hafta figure out if he's worth all the trouble.. :|
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:7 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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i got my tongue pierced. it hurt. i like it a lot.
my boyfriend comes home in 20 days. 21 & a wake up actually but you get the picture. my whole computer is green, it's pretty queer. i don't like it at all.
i'm wearing a cowboy hat with leopard spots. it's really kick ass.
ya know?
i'm eating luke warm chicken noodle soup and drinking orange juice.
i've got homework to do.
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:7 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Sunday, September 14th, 2003
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kay..
school's fine. i guess, it's making time pass till october, then i'll be happy again.
30 days. :)
i guess classes are fine. they're not hard or anything. i start school an hour earlier than most people though, so that sucks, of course.But the little kids are adorable. I get to be in a first grade classroom, which is good cause the kindergardeners were too much.
i'm the thug of the year.. blah blah blah..
i'm tired as fuck. i haven't slept in in 2 weeks. the latest i've woken up was 8:41 am. it sucks. :( i've got homework to do still. i should do that, then write a letter to my murphy, then go to bed. it's 7:16 right now. ha, it's early, but i'm tired as fuck, and i gotta get all my energy up for the partay-ing it up on saturday night. :D adam called me at work today. it made me feel special. :)he wanted me and jess to hang out with them tonight, but i was far too tired to hang out with anyone.
hmm, onnnnly 30 more days!! 29 tomorrow. that's like, sooon!! i'm getting all excited.
i get to read the letters dominique wrote to my boyfriend about her wanting to be with him on tuesday and i'm gonna kick her ass. yayay
i'm intense.. :D:D
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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Saturday, August 9th, 2003
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Wow. theres 10 days till my birthday. i'm all excited and stuff, except for the fact that i don't have my boyfriend to spend it with, but in 70 days he'll make it up to meeee. :D I'd explain why i can't see my boyfriend, but some annoying people read this and they'll be gay. so anyways, i'm working constantly this week, tuesday-saturday 11-5 EVERY day. it's outrageous. but they're all right paychecks.. :P and i'll be saving my money to buy a cell phone and stuff, so it's all good.
I don't even want school to start again. This has been one of the best summers i've had. This might be the first summer i've had to spend with someone that i love. and care about so much more than just a good friend who i can do retarded stuff with. It's cool. :) But sarah came over last night, and we sat around and talked. and i got a picture of rob back, and i was like "sarah, what the FUCk was i thinking when i went out with this kid?" haha, we talked about all my boyfriends, and how stupid i had been for a short period of time.. :P hahah, sheesh. good times.
I spent the night at jessica's the other night, because it's morgans sister. we talked about love and life, and i read her my notebook, and she read the letter that her brother wrote me, and started to cry. She says she's never heard her brother tell any girl that he loved them. I felt so overwhelmed. Then me, her and her mom went to go somewhere, and i didn't cry. i was suprised..it's all good though. my computers about to shut down. so i'm done..
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:2 Gave Me - » Good Head
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i gotta delete this for a few days.
it might not even be that long, but i'll be back..
don't worry! :)
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:2 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Attention!
This Journal Is Now:Friends Only.
and they said
"youre so last summer.."
it just possibly could be
the truest thing ever
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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i've done some stupid shit in the past 2 months....
but never this stupid...
sheesh, wtf am i doing?
dave wrote me a check for 20 dollars. what a great guy. :D
i have a 20 dollar check to my name since thursday when i had almost 100 dollars. where does all my money go? i know where... pointless stuff.. i wish i could hold onto money, but i just.. can't.... my bad.
i smell like smoke. straight up smoke. i gotta wash my hands, talk to mike.. then go to bed.
i can't believe he actually walked to my house at 12:15 am. how cute do you get? heh... i don't feel bad for any of it.. so i wont feel bad...
that could've kicked ass.. i think?
idunno i've gotta cramp that has been in my stomach since this afternoon and i get them every afternoon, i get a massive stomach ache.. and it sucks...
but i guess you get used to it, er something..
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
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I'm so glad i'm done with all that bullshit that everyone is dealing with now-a-days.. they're all worried about looking cool and keepin' the fad, and i'm worried about where i'm gonna go out for the night after working 7 hours a day.. It's so reassuring to have a life :) I'm so excited i don't have to sit around with people everyday bitching about superficial shit.. I just happened to have time tonight to understand the whole value behind meeting new people. Even though they might be the "wrong crowd" they keep things exciting and entertaining. My attitude towards everything has completely changed in the past 2 months, no one really seems to enjoy it all that much, but i'm loving every minute of it. This is the most fun i've had in a long time. I've never had the experience of having a boyfriend during the summer.. one that i can walk around the streets with, or drive to the city with, or sing stupid random songs with, or go into sylvan beach and make a scene infront of two younger people on their boat while we're in the water.. ;) It feels great. And i wouldn't trade it in for the world.
I gotta talk to sarah though and make plans to hang out cause i feel bad, i never have time to do anything with her anymore, i've either got work or boyfriend, dave, dominique and jessi. It's a toss up. Lay around sarahs house all day being complete douche bags, or having fun in the backseat of daves car with four outstanding people. who make me laugh and are more stupid than me.. So i feel good around them. :P haha Idunno, i found it hilarious that while I found a way to go have a life, some people are still stuck on their junior high attitudes towards life..
I'm taking this all in... =)
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:2 Gave Me - » Good Head
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I haven't had much time to update, so i guess i'll just hit the basics since last time i updated.
I got in wicked bad trouble 4th of july, cause me, morgan, and tommy all went to sylvan beach and i had to call my mom for a ride, cause we lost the keys to the truck, and tommy and morgan were drunk. So i called my mom, and her and my dad came to pick me up, and they were really mad and all they did was yell.
I hate my job, but i can't complain too much, after 4 months, it's exceptionally easy, yet really hot and boring. But it's all good. my parents forbid me to see my boyfriend. so i went out with him tonight, me him, dave, dominique went to "the top of the world" and smoked a bowl. Then we went and picked up jessica and went to the nice and sleasy, then went to DD's to harrass stephanie and nik. I got coffee. Gooood time. :D
I've been feelin' pretty shitty lately, i've been really sick like, puke sick.. and tired, and just not into working. I just wanna relax by the pool with my boyfriend and call it a day. I love summer. :)
I guess that's all the stuff that's happened since June 27th. So i guess that's all... ingeneral..
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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showers are my favorite thing to do with someone i love.
mush.
it feels more like july.
it's almost august 19th, what is everyone getting me for my birthday?!
:P
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:11 Gave Me - » Good Head
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Thursday, June 26th, 2003
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i can't sleep.
and it's only four in the morning..
i think i ran outta dreams..
i just threw up outside.
wtf?
xo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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| Subject: | fuck. |
| Time: | 1:49 am. |
| Mood: |  awake. | | Music: | [Andrew W.K.].x.[I Get Wet]. |
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don't take the last entry, or this one to heart, ladies and gentlemen..
ever since grandpa died, everythings gotten harder.
i just don't give a fuck anymore, sue me?
i woke up at 1:30 to go to the bathroom cause icouldn't stop sneezing and it was killing me. and then i didn't want to go back to bed, so i came down here on my computer and saw a message from someone from my last entry, and realized that you guys might take that one a little too harshly, i guess you had to be in my life the past month and a half and notice the sudden drop in my attitude towards things, it sucks.. but...
ya get used to it..
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
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Today, was by far the worst day of my life.
I hadda go into work early, which already i knew the day was gonna be shitty cause ihadda wake up earlier than i was supposed to.
i went to work around 9:45ish, and had to clean the whole time, i hadda stay till 5, and morgan picked me up in his big pimpin' car. We went back to my house so that i could change, and ky-lo and jennifer were on the front lawn talking. mike, and my mother were in the garage, and my father was in the basement. I planned on getting dressed and leaving with my boyfriend for the night, then coming home around 10ish, cause i get tired easily, and i have to work tomorrow, i go to leave and jennifer hadda tell me a joke and my brother started to yell at me. i had to tell my dad i was leaving, and then somehow, i ended up in the backyard talking to him crying asking him if it was okay if i went out till about 9. and he kept saying no, and how he doesn't negotiate. and i started to cry and went into the garage sayin "this is fucking ludacris" and slammed the door, and my mother asked "what did he say?" i replied with " i can't fucking go anywhere, this is retarded.. " and i started to yell. and my brother, acting JUST like my dad, comes out "blah blah blah, don't talk to mom like that, get your fucking purse and get in the house" me, getting overly pissed off with morgan sitting in the road waiting for me, i turned around and yelled "fuck you, you're not my father so don't fucking talk to me. you're not even a part of this conversation." and walked towards the car. Told morgan i couldn't go anywhere tonight, and just cried. He said he'd call me later. So i went into the house and jennifer said that mr. deparde called and i have to go to summer school for english and global. i said i'm not going. and.... i'm not going, that's all there is to it. i'm just taking same courses next year, it's easier for me. i have no time for summer school. i've got so much other shit to do. And, my sister talked to him and told my brother, since my brother is a dick head he made my sister tell my dad, and when i pulled into the driveway with my mother, he said "hey jillian, did you hear the good news? you get to go to summer school this summer" i wanted to turn around and tell him to stfu, but i can't.. I went into my house, and cried. again. that's all i did. i pulled out some paper, and started to write a letter to morgan, apologizing over and over again and explaining how incredibly stupid i am, and that if i were him, i'd dump my ass and find someone who can actually be out of the house. i went out and sat by the pool listening to the ataris. crying uncontrollably at this point, and just let it go. then i went into the house and sat on my bed listening to my dad talk to my mother, and he said "the little bitch fucked up everything, she's fuckin stupid now.. she's ruining her summer. and she fucked it up cause i'm not gonna be able to take her everyday"..... problem SOLVED, i'm not going guys! My dad said that in all reality i don't need to see morgan all the time, once a week should be fine. my god i can't wait till i'm out of this fucking house. just a few more years.. right? i told my mother i didn't care if there was a DOLLAR to my name, i am moving out as soon as i'm allowed to.like, legally..it's just.. insane here.
The only reason my dad is being like this is a) mid life crisis. and b) i'm the only kid in the house he has control over anymore, everyone else is over 18 and moved on with their lives, and he can't do anything about it, so he's gonna lay the "law down heavy" on me.. it's fucking ridiculous.. if you ask me.
my only highlight of the day was wearing a big donut.
cause fridays our grand opening, and i get to walk around outside in a donut outfit with katie, i HIGHLY suggest people come see me! :D you can win free stuff. it's gonna bee great, aaaand i'll love you forever if you came while i was dressed up as a donut. :)
i guess that's all.
now that i'm ready to go drown myself in the bathtub.
i hope everyone else had a good day...
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:11 Gave Me - » Good Head
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| Time: | 9:08 am. |
| Mood: |  rejuvenated. | | Music: | [Dashboard Confessional].x.[For You To Notice]. |
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Tuesday:11-5
Wednesday:11-5
Thursday:11-5
Friday:9-5
Saturday:6-11
it's gonna be a long week. but it's okay. my paycheck for this week will be nice, considering i worked every damn day last week :D i'm awake at 9:09 in the mornin cause i gotta go to work.
blah, i'm gonna go take a shower. and get rid of my pains, and then be off to work... yay.
xoxo;
jill
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:6 Gave Me - » Good Head
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| Time: | 9:20 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
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| jildo3406 | | Magic Number | 15 | | Job | Conservationist | | Personality | Drifter | | Temperament | An Oft-Exploding Volcano | | Sexual | Just Say No | | Likely To Win | The Booker Prize | | Me - In A Word | Unique | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]: Good Head
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the only thing that was keeping me sane.....
.. my mother found in my bag and threw them away..
wtf..
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[x]Bitches & Hoes [x]:15 Gave Me - » Good Head
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jildo3406's journal
frustrated.
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artistic.
anxious.
drained.
bored.
curious.
pensive.
naughty.
relaxed.
bitchy.
angry.